I spent over five hours yesterday trying to plan my wedding. And by the end of it, I was so frustrated because my ideas won't come together and I can't make up my mind. Once again, I whined to God, pleading like a child begs for candy, for help in planning my wedding reception. And then, I learned a valuable lesson.
As I focus inward on all my petty concerns, outside of my self-centered, little world, people are suffering. Suffering from deep, painful wounds in their hearts, minds, emotions, spirits, and physical bodies. Real sorrow and frustration stemming from real problems, rather than the petty issues I create in my mind out of those things that are actually blessings in my life. Now, I'm not saying that my concerns are discountable, for they are real challenges that do cause me to struggle. And I'm not saying that God doesn't care about my concerns, however minor they may be, because I have had too many experiences that prove otherwise. But, I am saying that there is bigger problems in the world today and if I sit in my self-pitying world, I will pass up on the countless opportunities available to me in which I can comfort and care for and help individuals come unto our Savior, Jesus Christ.
This weekend, I listened to two individuals talk about their road to recovery from traumatic circumstances and events. As I listened to them, I was filled with sorrow for the disparity of this world. I am reminded of the Savior as He looked out over the city of Jerusalem saying, "Oh Jerusalem, Jerusalem...how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!"
However, these women taught me something so wonderful: despite the terrible circumstances and pain they suffer with daily, they look outward and seek to improve the world around them. In fact, one of these strong women I know personally. As she told me the horrors of her hellish situation, I began to weep, and she came over and hugged me. She is the one in pain and yet she was comforting me. It amazes me how both of these women are looking outward and doing their best to serve others, raise awareness of sensitive subjects, and influence the world to change. Both of these valiant women are sharing their stories to benefit others and it inspires and uplifts me. It gives me hope. Yes, the world can be an awful place to live. But, we do have our agency. We can choose to keep fighting, to keep loving, to reach outside of ourselves and help those around us.
Ever have those days where God is trying desperately to teach you something? On these days, everything seems to revolve around a specific topic and everything that people say: every talk, every lesson, every interaction with another human being plays the same tune and nags at you to do something or change something or to listen to what God is trying to get through my thick Jewish-girl hair. That has been this weekend. And the lesson is: "Megan, look outside of yourself."
The visiting teaching lesson this month was about women's role or place in the church, and one of the scriptures: Ephesians 1:10 talks about gathering together in one all things in Christ. We all need Christ-He is the Master Carpenter who can heal us when we are broken (which is quite often for many.) Elder Holland gave a great talk about Coming Unto Christ entitled "Broken Things to Mend" and in it, he shares a poem which I would like to post here:
In Nazareth, the narrow road,
That tires the feet and steals the breath,
Passes the place where once abode
The Carpenter of Nazareth.
And up and down the dusty way
The village folk would often wend;
And on the bench, beside Him, lay
Their broken things for Him to mend.
The maiden with the doll she broke,
The woman with the broken chair,
The man with broken plough, or yoke,
Said, “Can you mend it, Carpenter?”
And each received the thing he sought,
In yoke, or plough, or chair, or doll;
The broken thing which each had brought
Returned again a perfect whole.
So, up the hill the long years through,
With heavy step and wistful eye,
The burdened souls their way pursue,
Uttering each the plaintive cry:
“O Carpenter of Nazareth,
This heart, that’s broken past repair,
This life, that’s shattered nigh to death,
Oh, can You mend them, Carpenter?”
And by His kind and ready hand,
His own sweet life is woven through
Our broken lives, until they stand
A New Creation—“all things new.”
“The shattered [substance] of [the] heart,
Desire, ambition, hope, and faith,
Mould Thou into the perfect part,
O, Carpenter of Nazareth!”
Elder Holland also says, "If you are lonely, please know you can find comfort. If you are discouraged, please know you can find hope. If you are poor in spirit, please know you can be strengthened. If you feel you are broken, please know you can be mended." However, we must come unto Christ. "Blessed are the poor in spirit, who come unto me," said the Savior Himself. One thing that has been interesting to me, is that individuals who suffer from traumatic and terrible experiences, still have to struggle with the daily trials that I deal with everyday: from drama to school to work to boys and everything in between. It's exhausting for me and I can only imagine how fatiguing it must be for those who suffer from deep, gaping wounds in their souls. And so many people are in pain and feel broken. So many people need the Savior, including me: I need Him. Therefore, I feel like God is gently spanking me and reminding me to recognize my role in the church as a faithful disciple, look outside of myself and bring souls unto Him. He is very good to me and I pray for His help as I look outward.
